A gander at the porn shop

It had been an exhausting day and I was tired. I was like death on wheels. I had spent the majority of my time spent after work nursing my wounded feet (teetering around in gucci no less!) and lounging about at a barnes and nobles.
So I decided I was going to take a trip down to the porn shop. After all isn't a vibrator a cure all? I mean the vibrator is a girl's best friend third to diamonds and shoes

My phone rings.

"Helloo?"

"I HATE you I postively HATE you"

"well I love you too L"

L is kind of my roomate of sorts. Except she doesn't pay rent, borrows my clothes, eats everything in the refridgerator and is completly and totally insane. She's also exceedingly gorgeous and I've fantasized about going down on her quite a bit.

"Wait! Damn how'd you figure it was me? Oh psshh nevermind what are you up to Luvie?"

"I'm commencing vibrator shopping, my other one has seemingly disappeared from my room"

silence on the other end

"your not suggesting I've stolen it now have you?"

I hesitate for dramatic effect. L in response goes bonkers.

" Ohmygawd you know that I would never do that I mean right? You can seriously believe-"

"good god L shutup I was only kidding besides every girl could use more than one vibrating friend"

"ohhhhh I know-god men are so easily replaced"

I push my way into the porn store. The fat kid at the counter grabs for my I.D.

"No cell phones"

I look up at him

"Are you serious"

He sighs

"The politicians just don't want to be photographed buying their daily wares in the porn shop"

"You'd think they just come out with it all ready. . After all they have elliot spitzer"

We laugh

"I think that's what they are afraid of"

He noddeds me in and I kinda take it all in. ItsPORN
delicious frivolous outrageously airbrushed porn. My heels click nervously on the berber stained carpet.

A gigantic outlet poster of some platinum blonde with breasts the size of bowling balls is peeling on the wall and the air smells stale. I sigh with dissapointment I'd had expecting something more glamorous but truth be told it was just as seedy as it looked on the outside.

There was something for every fetish. Enormous sumo cocks gleamed up at me from their glossy magazine packages, fierce trannys and chicks with dicks massacred firm bum holes and cheerleaders with tiny pink tits and pigtails winked at me. It was a little bit awe inducing to see so much porn in one place but that wasn't why I was here.

FINALLY sex toys!

The whole back wall was dedicated to them. I almost instantly got a jolt in my pussy. I looked over them carefully.

"Jenna's jewels"

"Daddy's Rays corn hole popper"

"Jenna Angels vibrating shlong"

(ps what is up with porn stars and the names Jenna and Jesse and the like. Can't they come up with something more sexy like Mulva or Sistah Suck-off?)

There also was an enormous selection of anal beads, bullets, gelly dildo's, strap ons, penis pumps and cock rockets. I stiffled a laugh as I ran my finger of a box of Insta-Pussy!

I ended up settling on a large rimmed vibrator with velveteen skin and bejeweled at the end. Ahhhh now this was a cock. The hung black stud on the back made a thumbs up sign!
I was sold.
I snatched it off the wall greedily and paid for my treasured purchase.

As I made my way out, I peeked inside the bag. The clerk had included a pack of double AA battaries. Apparently my little masturbitory needs were fairly obvious.

I suppose the rest is history.
I got to my house and promptly began skewering myself with my new found toy.

The joys of a filthy frig! It's a love affair dont you know?
Why?Haven't you heard?

I'm dating my vibrator!